The first date is where you make your first impression, the third date may be where you decide to be intimate, but when should you know if you’re interested in seriously pursuing someone? We say the fifth date. There is a lot of pressure surrounding the third date, and if you make it past that, you need to think about if the person is worth investing in. The fifth date also gives you ample time for green flags (and red) to arise.
Green Flags to Watch for:
They are interesting: If you consistently have good conversation and a good time, that’s a great sign. You want someone who’s fun to be around. If you’re getting bored now, it’s probably not going to improve with time. Someone who keeps things interesting will be able to preserve that spark.
You can be yourself around them: You shouldn’t feel pressure to put up a front or change yourself to be with someone. We know you will be putting your best self forward on your first few dates, but by the fifth date, you should feel comfortable enough to start being truly yourself. Feeling relaxed is a good sign!
Conversation is easy: By now, you should be getting into deeper topics and conversation should flow with ease. The first couple of dates can be awkward and conversation may be constrained to the mundane, “What do you do?” “Are you close with your family?” “What are your hobbies?” are going to be the kind of topics you cover. Now that you know each other better, it’s time to open up.
You share interests: You may think opposites attract, but you actually don’t want to be too different. Having a couple of shared interests will help the relationship and give you something in common. Whether it’s hobbies, shared beliefs, or similar goals, having things in common is always a good thing. This can make you feel closer to each other, give you something to do together, and make it easier to understand each other. Compatibility is often built upon shared interests.
You share values: This is an important one! Sharing values gives you peace of mind that your partner is on the same path as you. Don’t fret though, they don’t need to have exactly the same values as you, just enough to be compatible. The fifth date is a great time to go over the values that are important to you, although you may have discussed this earlier if it felt natural.
You want the same things out of life: Relationships are more likely to work when both parties have similar life goals. Work, family, and dreams should line up for you both. If you’re on similar paths, you get to walk them together. If your goals are too different you may need to reassess the relationship.
Overall, date five is a great judgment point in a budding relationship. Looking for the green flags above will help you figure out whether this person deserves date number six, and seven, and eight, and nine.